I had this posted on my website in the Fall of 2006, now decided to transfer it to a blog.
Here I am, once again, thinking I really need to get back to a healthy weight and feel good about myself again. I'm doing what I love in life now, but I still feel fat and frumpy. I own my own business and I help people recover from accidents and injuries and to feel better and move better. I don't feel or think I'm 45, but I look in the mirror and gasp at the middle aged woman before me. Where did I go?
I was always slender as a child and young adult. Weighing in a 117# at high school graduation and 124# when I married at age 21. Less than 10 years ago, after my divorce I became a black belt and a karate and kickboxing instructor. I was in excellent shape. What happened? I started school for massage therapy, was running a business, working another job, and raising twin boys on my own - that's what happened. Life happened - priorities changed. I ran out of hours in the day and energy!
I remember using pregnancy as my excuse. Afterall, I was never above 135# at 5'6", until then. But I only gained 45 pounds with twins. I was told to expect 45-50 pound weight gain during my pregnancy. I lost a little, but gained it back. Other than those few years right after my divorce, I have kept those extra pounds around. And, I guess, you can only use pregnancy for so long. Afterall, my twins are 18 (years, not months) now! ugghh, where did the time go?
Even my marriage New Year's Eve -actually Jan 1, 2006, right after midnite - fun time -did nothing to take the weight off, although I did try. But between planning a wedding, dealing with 2 teenage boys who were anticipating loss of freedom, buying a house in a different town and moving my sons to a new school, and trying to sell our two homes, I guess I was a bit stressed! Even good stress is still stress and it takes it's toll.
So what is going to make the difference this time? Why and how is this seemingly elusive goal of health and fitness going to happen this time? Even though I have a couple upcoming trips to look forward to, they are not the reason I'm doing this.
At 45, I'm feeling the weakness in my muscles as I can't do the things I used to do. I went to the doctor and got a thermagram (instead of a mamogram this time) and the results were not ideal. Thermagrams find thermal (heat) activity happening in the body before anything would show on a mamogram. I doesn't "mean" cancer, but it could be the beginnings of cancer. So now I'm taking supplements to help heal the breast and glyconutrients to support the immune system so my body can heal itself. October 5th will be the 3 month follow up thermagram to see the results.
But this is a great jumping off spot to be healthy again. I've been lucky, I've been blessed, despite my addiction to junk food (love chocolate and sugar) - and PMSing, it's something salty then something sweet, repeat - ahhh, the joys of being a woman! Cholestral and blood pressure are good despite family history.
So here I am, encouraging my clients to eat healthy, exercise, get massages, and take care of themselves. Here I am, actually a Certified Personal Trainer, and I'm overweight, tired, and eating like there's no tomorrow. Well, I intend to have a lot of tomorrows and for them to be healthy tomorrows. What's the point of growing old without taking care of ourselves so we can enjoy those years?! And, darnit, I'm going to enjoy them, I deserve it!
You will be able to follow my adventures (and misadventures) toward health through this diary. It won't always be pretty, but I promise you honesty as I travel this road. One reason I'm putting myself "out there" on my website is to help keep me motivated and accountable. The other reason is to encourage you to set goals for your own health and give you resources and knowledge to achieve those goals. This will not be a perfect endeavor for me, it will be a bit of a roller coaster and plateau at times. That's normal, that's expected for all of us.
So, let's get rollin'!
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